It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
Attention men! What could possibly be touted as the most wonderful day of the year is coming; mark your calendars for MARCH 14th! You many be wondering, "What is the importance of this day?" Why, it is national STEAK AND BJ DAY!
Ohhhh Ladies, get ready! Now is the time for you to put in work as a “thank you” for all the money and energy previously spent by your man. No worries--the fellas have made it easy for you. There is no guessing at what they want; it is explicitly stated in the name of the day. So, please do not try to re-interpret the meaning of the day, or turn it into something else. Simply give your man, boo, or whoever a damn steak dinner and a BJ.
I will help my girls out just a little bit, and provide some suggestions. For my ladies who do not cook, take your man out to a nice steakhouse like Capital Grille or even to Outback Steakhouse. Yes, you read that correctly: Outback Steakhouse -- their blooming onion is bomb. LOL! For those ladies who want to go the extra mile and cook a nice steak dinner at home, I would recommend the following recipes. You can utilize Google to find more:
For the BJ portion of the day, well...to the ladies who genuinely enjoy orally stimulating and know that it is important to want to please their man, boo, or whoever, keep up the good work! However to those women who don't think it is important, I implore you to go grab your laptop and search Superhead on PornHub.com and watch her go to work, study her technique, and rewind if you have to. Then go grab your man, boo, or whoever...throw him down in a chair, get on your knees in front of him, get that confidence up, put a smile on your face, relax your jaw, and get the hell to work!
Fellas, please enjoy!
Well Ladies and Gents; it has finally arrived. It’s time to celebrate the wonderful day known as Steak and BJ day. Some have been celebrating this illustrious holiday for years; while some, like myself, are new to the festivities (despite wishing they had known about this many years ago). In my Steak and BJ Day research, I discovered that in some circles, this day is more important than V-Day, Jesus’ Birthday, and even the day Biggie died! So in keeping with said importance, I wanted to give some tips and tricks to the young ladies out here to make sure that they make it enjoyable for the man (or men--do you, Playa: get your protein) of their choosing.
1. Men enjoy steak! This is a commonly known fact; but, perhaps not so commonly known, is that they are very particular about the way that they want their meat (No D.L.) prepared. So Ladies, if you cannot cook, this is not the day to attempt to get your Paula Dean on in the kitchen. Your man does not want to eat a bloody steak, nor does he want to chew on rubber at the dinner table. If you don’t possess the necessary talents in the kitchen, and you cook turkeys like Gina from Martin, please spare your man the pain. Get your Visa, MasterCard, or Rush Card ready, and take that brother to the closest Outback. You can get him a $9.99 special and make him happy, instead of pissing him off because you forced him to chew on some junk you threw up on the George Foreman you haven’t cleaned in 2 years!
2. Please understand: this is not the time or the instance for you to give the normal ole BJ service. On this day, you want to hit him with the unexpected. Don’t just get home and act like you are doing him a favor. Appreciate the BJ and the enjoyment that he will experience. When you are leaving the Outback, show him some attention in the car. Or after he finishes eating the steak that you made, make him the dessert. The key point, though, is to do something different and exciting. If you got a man that is normally trash---you may actually get a good 1-2 weeks of drama free relations if you handle this thang the right way.
3. Please make sure that you eat a steak too. The brother does not want you chomping and gnawing on his thing with your teeth because you didn’t get any grub. Thank you and goodnight!