Confession: I Don't Have Any White Friends!

*gasp* But it is true! I don't have any white friends. Not one. All of my close friends are black. Honestly, its not that startling of a revelation. 

Yes, I have white people that I interact daily with - coworkers and Facebook friends mostly. Yet with everything that is happening in the world around us, it became clear to me that I didn't have any white friends. After graduating from a predominately white upper school, most of my friendships with white people ended there. Yes upper school; I went to private school and there was no calling it high school. We were fancy, LOL! 

If Carl is the white guy then this is true for me.

If Carl is the white guy then this is true for me.

The college that I attended was pretty diverse in population, but was socially segregated. Social segregation seems to be what happens after we leave controlled environments. Attending my middle/upper school was the first time I had ever interacted with white people on a one on one basis. Throughout my time there, I had no problem making friends with other races. We attended each others birthday parties, hung out with each other, and shit like that. It was cool! We had fun. But since I left upper school, I have not actively sought out to make friends with others who are not black. 

It wasn't a choice I decided to make one day. In every setting that I have been in has been predominately white - school and work - none of those friendships have survived after the situation ended. Now don't get me wrong, I can go have a drink or dinner with white people I know. Yet they have never been to my home. I wasn't invited to their weddings. I probably wouldn't invite them to my wedding, if that ever happens, LOL! If it weren't for Facebook some of the white people I have meet along the years, I wouldn't even know what was happening in their lives. 

I think its appropriate to take an honest assessment of your circle. Just because you don't have friends of another race or ethnicity doesn't mean you are a racist. We all just prefer to be in comfortable environments or safe spaces. Where I do have a problem, is if your lack of a diverse friend pool is rooted in hate. 

So whenever I hear a white person say, "I have a black friend" I question that. Do you really? Or is it just a black girl you went to school with 15 years ago. I don't have any answers of why most of us have homogeneous social circles. My only thought is we all love to be comfortable. Being around those who are like you, brings a certain level of comfort. Comfort is easy.