C'mon Man, Put Your D*ck Away!

Any woman reading this post will be able to relate. It has happened to all women who have the ability to receive picture mail on their phones -- dick pics!!! 

What makes the matter worse is that they are always unrequested! It is time to lay down the law on dick pic Etiquette! 

Fellas, what the fuck is up with this ish right here?! Let me first explain that women are not visual creatures like men. We cannot just simply look at a picture and get instantly turned on. Dick pics elicit one of the following reactions from women: laughter, feeling unimpressed, thinking “ugh”, and on a rare occasion -- DAMN!  

However, the fact still remains that an unrequested dick pic is not sexy and is a slightly gross turn off. In addition to the rudeness of an unrequested dick pic, the quality of the pictures is usually downright disrespectful as well. If you are going to send one, make sure it’s a quality, flattering shot of your dick! There is an art to taking a good dick pic. Here are some tips:

1. Do some penis landscaping. Clean up the area down there. Not only does it look neater, it can make your penis look bigger! When a woman receives a dick pic with a damn forest in it, the first thing she thinks about is hair getting caught in her teeth or throat! GROSS!

2. Make sure it is hard!  WTF are we gonna do with flaccid penises?! -__-

Here is a great tutorial. (No I didn't make it.)

Here is a great tutorial. (No I didn't make it.)

3. Angles my friend--it is all about angles. Practice taking the picture at various angles, to find one that displays your member in the best possible way.

4. If you are unsure about your size, zoom might be a good friend for you. It would help to decrease your chances of having the person laugh when receiving the pic.

5. Make sure the shit is clean! You would think that this is understood, but some men are just nasty! lol

So if that seems like too much work, it probably is! The moral of the story is....stop sending unrequested dick pics!!!! JUST STOP...well unless its fucking impressive and will seal the deal! Then maybe just maybe carry on!