When You Have to Support from Afar
It's such a cliche saying. We hear it all the time and often change the saying around. "You never know what someone is going through." We say it so glibly -- often even dismissing the needs of those around us. It gives us a chance to let ourselves off the hook a bit. How could we be a friend, a sister, a parent, if we don't even know what someone is going through? It puts the responsibility back to the other person and off of yourself. We feel proud after saying it, because we acknowledge the struggle of others that we may often never know.
I've been doing some purging and rearranging in my home in recent weeks. In my basement, I got rid of an old couch -- an old comfy couch that holds so many memories -- but that's another post for another day, LOL! Naturally when you move furniture, you find all sorts of lost items and coins. Why are coins always found under couches?! So I am picking up all these dimes, quarters, a pennies -- so many pennies -- then I find an unfamiliar coin. I grab it thinking it might be one of those dollar coins, but it wasn't. I had discovered a sobriety coin.
No really, my world really stopped! So many thoughts immediately began rushing to my brain. "Who's coin is this?" "One year clean?" "What addiction are they in recovery from?" Who in my house has been fighting an addiction?" "Why didn't they tell me?" "How didn't I know?" "What kind of friend am I?"
I mean really! If you have been in my home and especially my basement, then you are super close to me! How could I not know that someone I loved is battling an addiction? Then I was angry at myself for making this about me. However, I really pride myself on being there for those around me, but this wasn't about me at all. Someone I love is going through it. I didn't make a list of people to text or call to ask; I simply decided to write this post in hopes that they see it.
To my loved one who is going through this, I commend you for getting help. I applaud you for staying the course for a year. I hope you are not going through this alone. Even though you have not turned to me for help, I hope you have someone who is there to lift you up and make sure that you stay true to the commitment you made to change your life. I left the coin on a bookshelf in my basement. If you are ever back there, just grab it. We don't have to talk about it at all! Know that I love you and support you! Stay strong!