2016: My Year of No Fucks!
I mean that literally! I went a whole year without getting fucked! A WHOLE YEAR! 12 months! 52 weeks! 365 days! 8,760 hours! 525,600 minutes! 31,536,000 seconds! You get the point...
In 10 days, it marks one year since I have had sex. I mean any kind of sex. *deep breath* The longest I have ever gone - like ever since I've lost my damn virginity! What a time to be alive my friends!
I was having great sex, amazing sex with someone and then I wasn't. We were over. It sucked but I moved on and hopped to the next dick boy! Word to Beyonce! The rebound dick was nothing to write home about. Wasn't even worth the price of a stamp. So naturally hit up old dick. We all know how that story goes!
Around my birthday last year I made the decision that I didn't want to keep having mindless sex. So I set out on this genius (LOL) idea to go a year without sex. The decision was made. Once I made the decision, it was like a dick buffet in my DMs and iMessages. No really! Dick I wanted to hop on, dick I didn't know liked me, just all types of dick now available as options. AIN'T THAT SOME SHIT! I turned down dick. I bookmarked dick for later use. I felt like Dr. Suess - 1 dick, 2 dick, chocolate dick, caramel dick, knick knack patty wack give a dog a bone. LMAO!
Outside of the onslaught of dick, it wasn't terrible. I wasn't craving sex and I didn't miss it. Then around May the sun was shining again, the days were longer and I wanted to have some physical fun. Then one day I missed Sunday morning sex. (Sunday morning sex is one of my favorite types of sex. I could honestly write an ode too it, but I will save it for the podcast, LOL!) I got busy with traveling and other plans, that I honestly didn't have time to think about sex. Then my surgery happened and I couldn't fuck anything even if I wanted to! And now -- now its cold, dark early, windy -- perfect time to lay up in a bed with a warm body.
I was hoping that at the end of this experiment, I would feel so enlightened and clear headed. Yet, I feel exactly the same. It wasn't that moving of an experience at all. It is not a choice that I would actively make again! I honestly think going a year without buying anything that is not a need would be way more beneficial to my life.
After my year of no fucks, I think the only thing I have learned is that the longer you go without sex the easier it gets to go without sex. Going sexless wasn't really addressing the real problems. Great sex is important to me, if not only for the stress reducing benefits and testosterone! I need that testosterone to help me with my fitness journey! Once I hop back on the dick, I might fuck myself skinny! LMAO!
I went fuckless for year and all I got was...a t-shirt! No really, I all I got was time and energy not focused on physical touch. Now in 2017, y'all pray to Buddha, Allah, God or his son Jesus that your girl gets some quality dick that is not attached to a total fucking loser! This is that Fucknut's America now, and I be damned if I am sexless for the next four years! LMAO!
Talk to me friends, what's the longest you have gone without sex? Why? Were you enlightened? Frustrated? Let me know!